Through the Fire - A Vision

So...I’m at that place...it hurts...it hurts bad! I am faced with a choice..the first option - the more appealing one at the moment...is to run, throw up the walls, get angry, strike out, pull in. Whatever it takes not to feel the pain, the pain that feels like it will consume me. But, can I really run from it? It is possible to run...from yourself? The pain, the hurt..it is a part of me.

So, the second option...face it, feel it, confront it. But how? Love! Love conquers ALL! TRUST...God? Yes...He will not disappoint. His way doesn’t always make sense at the moment and is almost never the way that seems easiest...in the short term. But, long term...it is the only way!

It is so hard to live constantly trying to step around the pain...cover it, protect it, contain it - it is exhausting. No, no, the only way is to push through it. Take His hand, trust Him, let Him lead me through it - to the other side where forgiveness, healing and wholeness await. I must take His hand and let Him lead me straight through the fire. I must trust Him not to allow the fire to consume me.

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I find myself standing in front of a very large fire. I am filled with fear. I then realize that Jesus is standing next to me. I take His hand and He begins to slowly and gently lead me toward the fire. I begin to sweat - I can feel the heat. With each step the heat increases - everything in me is telling me to...turn...run...protect myself from the flame. The fear of being burnt begins to consume me. I lose focus of the hand that is guiding me, I am now focused on the intense heat. I turn, I run. I don’t even remember letting go of His hand - it just happened.

I find myself once again...standing in front of the fire. Fear has almost consumed me. But then, He steps in front of me - His gaze locks with mine. I forget all about the fire - all I can see are His beautiful eyes! He holds out both of His hands...I slowly place my hands in His. Still consumed by His gaze, I hardly notice the slow steps we have been taking toward the flame. I am drenched in sweat, but I am still focused on Him who leads me. I then feel a drop of sweat roll down my forehead and it stings my eye...I immediately close my eyes and began to wipe them with my hands. When I open my eyes, I realize I am standing right in the middle of the fire. I can faintly hear His voice calling my name. I more clearly hear the voice inside of me screaming, “RUN! It’s burning you”. I can smell the burning flesh...I, again, turn and run...

Again, He is standing in front of me. I am still looking past Him - I am focused on the fire. He softly says my name and I look at Him. Again, our eyes lock - those beautiful eyes. He once again holds out His hands. I hesitate; thoughts of the burning...I remember the smell of burning flesh...and it begins to consume me again. He says my name again..the way He says my name...the love that is His voice...I know I can trust Him. I very slowly reach toward His outstretched hands, He gently grasps them. He tells me to keep my eyes fixed on His...those beautiful eyes. I barely realize we are moving forward...slowly. Again...it starts to get hot. He reassures me - “keep your eyes fixed on mine”. I smell the burning flesh...the panic begins to overtake me. I let go of His hands and prepare to run...the fire... All of a sudden...His hands are on either side of my face - His eyes piercing mine - “trust me”. The panic begins to subside...those
beautiful eyes...we are moving forward again. It’s burning...those beautiful eyes. The smell of burning flesh...those beautiful eyes.

He then embraces me, my heart if flooded with love - I feel as though I cannot contain it. His arms...I don’t ever want to be anywhere else, ever! He steps back and puts His arm around my shoulder and turns me around...the fire...we made it...we walked through. He leads me up to it and takes my hand and places it in the fire...it doesn’t burn...it’s not even hot. All it does is make more and more love spring forth out of my heart...